Hello everyone, I am writing this on behalf of my Ibu!

“What have you done to your child till she is too attached and fearful to relatives?”

Dear relatives,

I’m only 8 coming 9months old. You may be my relatives but to my shining little eyes, you are a stranger. I don’t see you on daily basis so allow me to cool down and get use to the surrounding before you approach me. I’m very attached with my Ibu and Aby. They are very protective about me especilly my Ibu. She sold her soul, life and even body to resurrect me out of her body 9mths ago.
My Ibu cries each time you say to let me cry it out loud. Ibu don’t like nor condone those act cause its against her principe as a human. You see, she loves me too much to see me cry my eyeball out.

My Ibu and Aby loves me that’s why they babywear me around the place. I’m still new in the world. Everything seems big and scary to me. I need their help with everything. So, If you were to see my Ibu fish out her nursing cover, it means I need my milk and comfort.

Allow me to accustom to the surrounding before you barge and squeeze my beautiful puffy cheeks. I know I am adorable( which baby isn’t?!) and I love when people carry me. That’s when I’m ready.

So keep calm and relax before carrying me around. And pls, don’t grab me from my Ibu. I have anxiety separation when you do that. Well, that’s what my doctor Adeline say. She say its normal for baby my age.

Thank you everyone.
Now pls don’t make my Ibu cry with your bad bad remarks. I love you Aby!!



so tell me, is this motherhood?

the little chicken

the little chicken

 today, you make me realise the importance of being by your side 24/7. sometimes  i feel that you don’t just need me but i need you as well. you were struggling with me while nursing to sleep. yes, dear child. i had to feed you while looking at the wall clock. it’s already 8pm and you are still weeping away. you knew i am leaving you to your grandparents for work. you knew that your dad won’t be at home any time soon (as though it make any difference) and you knew you just wanted to be by my side and have those nips in your mouth. yes, you need me for comfort and i need you for the warmth.

i had to let you hold onto my uniform just so you could calm your tantrum down. the moment your eyelid closed, you would quickly opened it up. dear child, ibu is going to work not to war. dear child, as much as i want to be a stay home mom i need to work so i could send you off to school and give you awesome food as well as a home to stay. we are no millionaire. we need to work our ass off in Singapore to survive.

So, singing you to sleep no longer works. I had to soothe you down with my clothes. Dear god, please save me from this emotional rollercoaster. Seeing you finally give into the struggle, you finally slept with my uniform still attached onto your small hand. today, i officially hates night shift. i don’t give a shit about the money. i love you, i am sorry for not being by your side tonight. but i promise, a swim on thursday to make up for tonight.

dear alawiyah,

i love you alot.

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