my little warrior turns 6months and I wonder how could that be.

6months ago, I woke up to a non moving fetus. I had the bad cramps and was having bad diarrhea. Kept thinking that maybe, just maybe you are tired and was zonked out in me. Walked around the hse and kept munching things. By 12, I was urinating like a mad woman and still the tummy ache perceive. What do you expect? I was not due till 3 weeks later.
Called nenek to inform her only to hear her screaming at me saying that’s the sign of labour. Oh, so this is labour pain? Did my own cervix check and nearly died!! 2cm dilated and I didn’t even know!!

Oh dear Tia, I swear I thought I am losing you cause you didn’t even move still. Called your daddy and begged him to bring me to the hospital. Oh, I have yet pack our stuff. Did I mention that your daddy had a big fight with me? He kept insisting that I am just wasting my time going to the hospital cause it would be another fake labour! Who am I kidding!!? I’m the one with the bloody huge tummy with a baby who hardly moves a day!!

The moment I reached the labor ward, I was again strapped around with all the irritating machines (call me a nurse but I hate machines!!) Midwives swarmed around me asking me questions. And dear vagina had to be probed. And oh, your dearest mommy is super 5cm dilated and my baby dear you are breeched! Why Alawiyah? Why? Why must you be breeched? Why can’t you follow my birth plan? Why can’t you simply slide out of my vagina? I want you normally! We practice this in my dream remember? With the water bag leaking by the minute, we were told that I needed an emergency csection.
Me and my lack of knowledge on labour (and call myself a nurse? and I thought I knew everything but I was damn wrong! I’m a medical nurse not a gynecology nurse!!!).

Dear Tia, you should have seen your daddy white face when dear Dr Tee says that I needed to be cut opened. I kept quiet and swearing to myself. Did I do something wrong till I have to be urgently cut open? It’s like asking someone else to mutilate your body when you could jolly well do it!

Yes Tia, your dearest mummy had to go through a series of mental torture before having you. Lets not even begin how the operation started and ended cause all I remember was when they badly tugged you out of my stomach and says that you are gorgeous!
That’s all matter, baby! You little warrior with that umbilical cord around your neck. You little warrior who refuse to listen to my awesome birth plan( one that requires pushing and tearing my vagina). You little warrior cause you save your parents marriage. You little warrior, I love you for being yourself and pushing all odds to be here with me 3 weeks earlier.

So, if you are slow in your own development it’s ok baby. It’s because you are special. I don’t give a damn anymore cause you are mine forever now.



the big leap

a swim after 6 months into the world. my apology for the super long delay on that huge big swimming pool, little warrior. i promise to train you for the big world but work has been a bull and i had to struggle with all the outstanding demands of the other humans that i sorta neglected you (in this area only!)
it’s weird how you actually cried the moment we get further into the pool. you were such a fierce little one in our own mini pool back at home but when you get the huge amazon pool, you wail like a little baby. opps, yes yes yes. i forgot you are still a baby.
the moment you put ur head on my shoulder, i knew it. you got bored and needed that sleep. yes, you slept in the big huge amazon pool, swarmed by the humanoid! funny little being.
did i tell you, i love you.
ps, Happy 6th month little earthling!